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  • Writer's pictureJamie Gustafson

Did I Save You? Did I Save You?

I am a problem solver by nature, and as I started my journey into management, I found this problem-solving turn into a desire to fix any issue for anyone I managed.

One day my boss took me aside and asked me, "Are you trying to be the hero here"?

It has taken me some time to realize I had taken on the Savior Role. By doing so, I neglected the true service, setting up an environment where people can be their own heroes. I also experience resentment for the burdens I would take on in an effort to fix the problems. This created a turning wheel that was not valuable for the company, the employee, or me.

The Downside of Being a Savior

While helping others can be a rewarding experience, it also has its downsides. Being the savior can lead to burnout, resentment, and unhealthy dependence. The helper may feel overwhelmed and helpless, and the person being saved may feel like they can't overcome their problems without the constant support of others.

The Importance of Boundaries

Establish boundaries to avoid falling into the savior trap. We set boundaries for ourselves and others to ensure our needs are met. We can avoid feeling overwhelmed and resentful by setting boundaries, leading to a stronger, healthier relationship. For example, if you feel like you're always giving in a relationship, it's essential to communicate and negotiate for your needs to be met.

Cultivating Self-Awareness

Another critical aspect of avoiding the savior role in relationships is cultivating self-awareness. Self-awareness means understanding your thoughts, feelings, and behavior patterns. Knowing your motivations for wanting to save others can develop healthy interpersonal relationships and be more effective at serving your loved ones. Working on yourself first you'll have a clearer vision of what you want from your relationships and what you need from others.

Trusting in the Power of Personal Growth

The final takeaway is that personal growth is vital in any healthy relationship. Relationships are not about saving others but creating a space where people can grow and thrive. Everyone has their own unique flaws, challenges, and strengths, and it's important to accept them without judgment. Trusting in the power of personal growth you can help the people you care about grow and change, thus strengthening your bonds and creating a sustainable relationship.

Being a savior may sound admirable, but it's not sustainable in relationships. The savior role can lead to burnout, resentment, and an unhealthy dependence on the helper. It's crucial to establish healthy boundaries, cultivate self-awareness, and trust in the power of personal growth to avoid falling into this trap. Remember, relationships are about creating a space where people can grow and thrive together. By embracing this mindset, we can build sustainable, fulfilling relationships that stand the test of time.

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